(‘The Trade’ updated – with deep apologies to Rudyard Kipling)1 When our submarine rescue buoys have been rendered mute,
With a welders’ strap or two to boot, You know the fun has just begun,
You are scheduled for a Northern Run.
In Pearl or San Diego skies are usually clear,
But off Vlad or Petro the weather always will be drear.
Loading for 60 days or more,
Wondering how many of the flics will be a bore.
Top off diesel fuel and lube, Put finals on the fish,
Check the area for depth of water,
It does not pay to have mud so shallow
That when you need to deal with inquisitive escort, The tin fish, a close bottom will swallow.
Mask the DRAI windows with tape2, Lest the newbies gape,
To learn far North they have come,
Off (censored) on a Northern Run.
The crew is sworn to secrecy,
Weighted garbage stripped of readable names, Lest bottom fishing trawlers dredge up,
A clue to what lies neath the main.
The riders load in dead of night,
Their security is very tight.
They take over the shack,
Forcing radiomen to move.
But they will be back due time,
When things return to a normal hum, Once we finish the Northern Run.
So, Vlad or Petro – which will it be?
Neither, oh goodie, it’s the Bering Sea.
The Northern Sea Route Convoy comes just once a year,
And after a long run North our boat will be here.
Over the hill they come,
Their formation is proud, almost all in a neat line, But the Soviet flotilla commander issues a reprove,
Tovarich Captain – get back into line.
Here comes a ‘Juliett’ cruise missile sub – next to last, But just in time.
At a thousand yards off their track we lurk,
She is the newest cruise missile boat to join their fleet.
Won’t CincPacFlt be happy to learn?
That his treasured aircraft carriers are attracting Soviet cruise missiles to burn?
Up scope, mark, range twelve hundred,
Quartermaster note that one of the subs has made a blunder,
It’s still out of line.
Soon comes another rebuke from the flotilla commander, Tovarich, I repeat – get back into line.
A six second look, attach Minolta camera to periscope mount, Aren’t we happy that finally they came?
Enter the Juliet, stage right,
Can a Romeo be far behind?3
Click-click, snap-snap, diving officer mind your depth, It’s flat calm up there.
We can’t afford to broach and give them a clue That they are not alone.
Over the hill they go
To a well-earned stop at Providenya,
Then on to Petro
Their new home at last.
Hasn’t this Northern Run been a blast?
Endnotes
- The Trade was published during World War One about the Brit- ish Submarine Service.
- DRAI is a dead reckoning analyzer indicator, a relatively crude navigation instrument
- Juliett is a guided missile submarine (SSG), while a Romeo is an attack diesel submarine (SS)
